


Speak Now

by rawrbaraminerva



Category: The Wicked Years Series - Gregory Maguire, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22465912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrbaraminerva/pseuds/rawrbaraminerva
Summary: Some part of Elphaba thought she shouldn’t be surprised that Galinda had been right when she said she and Fiyero were to be married. Another part of her, a part she could not quite place, couldn’t be truly happy about it.
Relationships: Elphaba Thropp/Galinda Upland
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	Speak Now

“Let’s tell each other something we’ve never told anyone,” Galinda told Elphaba in some act of friendship or, if Elphaba were to be cynical, perhaps it was simply a ploy to embarrass her. Still, Galinda bounded over to Elphaba’s side of the dorm and jumped onto her bed uninvited. She made a show of thinking, for a moment, her lip pouted and her eyebrows narrowed. With a grin so wide the corners of her eyes crinkled sweetly, Galinda told Elphaba in a hushed tone, “Fiyero and I are going to be married.”

The hushed sweetness of it was interrupted by Galinda’s loud, shrill squeal.

Fiyero. He was the new student attending Schiz, a Vinkin boy with a rumor of royalty. Galinda was far from the only girl pawning after him—He was handsome, the type Galinda’s irritating friends might call the most handsome in Schiz, though he seemed to lack brains. It wasn’t so shocking Galinda was going after him, a pretty face with little to nothing else.

Elphaba hesitantly looked at the bubbly girl beside her before saying in some shock, “He asked you already?”

“Oh, he doesn’t know yet,” Galinda told her like it was the most normal thing in the world before she giggled and grabbed Elphaba’s hand to ask her for a secret in return.

—

Some part of Elphaba thought she shouldn’t be surprised that Galinda, however silly, had been right when she said she and Fiyero were to be married. Another part of her, a part she could not quite place, couldn’t find it in her to be truly happy about it.

Galinda had given her the invitation in person, smiling and laughing as she watched Elphaba read it. When Elphaba looked back up at her, she nudged Elphaba’s shoulder and questioned, “Well? I assume you’ll be coming, Elphie?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Elphaba said without hesitation as her gaze drifted back to the fancy cursive on the thin, pretty paper she held. Galinda squealed, a sound so shrill Elphaba startled, before throwing her arms around Elphaba’s thin frame and hugging her tightly. Elphaba, once recovered, gently returned the embrace and congratulated Galinda quietly.

—

For a while, Elphaba thought Galinda had been acting strange. There had been moments as she came back to the dorm where she caught Galinda staring sadly at her engagement ring only for Galinda to jump in start and pretend she was doing anything else. A few times, Elphaba had watched Galinda casually avoid Fiyero’s touch or gaze, a look of confusion written so clearly under her practiced smile.

Elphaba had chalked it up to usual Galinda dramatics added to nervousness and excitement for the wedding, until one night when Galinda finally spoke of it.

It was late. Elphaba was sure it was past midnight, with the way it had been so dark and so silent for so many hours. 

“Elphie?” Galinda’s voice was quiet in the even quieter room, gentle, with a quiver barely prevalent in it. 

Elphaba, who lay awake with trouble sleeping as she usually did, froze. Something about the way it was said scared her. It was heavy, almost fearful within itself, confused. It was nothing like the confident, loud Galinda she knew almost too well. For a moment, she didn’t respond, she simply remained still and listened to Galinda’s breathing from across the room. Finally, just as Galinda was about to turn over and forget it, Elphaba forced herself to stutter out, “Galinda?”

A sigh of what Elphaba thought might be relief came from Galinda’s side of the room. “Are you awake?” She questioned Elphaba and, at Elphaba’s hum of confirmation, Elphaba heard the ruffle of Galinda’s blankets. It was followed by light footsteps and, somehow getting the idea, Elphaba shifted further to one side of the bed and held the blanket up. Galinda slid under the blanket Elphaba held up for her and laid on her side so she was facing Elphaba.

“Look at me, Elphie,” Galinda said quietly and Elphaba listened, rolling over on her side so that she and Galinda were a few inches apart. Galinda found her hand under the blanket, and Elphaba held it tightly as she noticed it trembling. She rubbed the pad of her thumb over Galinda’s knuckles gently in some hope it would soothe her.

There was a long moment where they were both silent, and Elphaba could feel Galinda’s breath warm on her face, but Elphaba didn’t try to speak. She waited for Galinda.

“I think something’s wrong with me,” Galinda finally admitted.

“Why would you ever think such a thing, my dear?” Elphaba asked her just as quietly, wishing she could see Galinda’s eyes in the darkness. She pursed her lips tightly, before saying, “You’re Galinda Upland. Of the Upper Uplands.” She added that last part teasingly and she smiled gently when she heard Galinda give a small laugh at it. It quieted quickly, though, and all was serious again.

Galinda shifted closer to Elphaba, as if she thought any distance would allow all of Oz to hear whatever dastardly thing she were going to say despite them being so alone. 

“Fiyero and I are going to be married,” She said finally, a hint of sadness in her voice and Elphaba thought about what a stark contrast it was to when Galinda told her those same words months ago, “I should be happy. I should be ecstatic, even, but… I’m not, Elphaba. I do like Fiyero, he makes for good company, but I…Sometimes I think I’ve never been in love. The way I’ve heard it described, I simply…I’ve never felt that way for Fiyero, or any boy for that matter. Sometimes I think I’ve felt for them what I’ve felt for any of my friends.”

Elphaba felt frozen, again. That all was certainly not what she had expected to hear from Galinda, tonight or ever, for that matter. 

“But, Fiyero and I, we make sense. Don’t we, Elphie? I’m _Galinda Upland._ He’s handsome, he’s exactly the kind of husband I should have, he…Isn’t he?” Galinda rambled on in a way that made Elphaba certain she had never said any of this out loud before, “We make _sense, we deserve each other._ And yet I can’t find myself being certain that I… _Love_ him.”

By now, Elphaba had stopped rubbing soothing lines on Galinda’s hand. She was startled, to put it lightly, and just as she was about to speak, Galinda added a final thought that made Elphaba’s heart skip a beat and her throat feel dry.

“Sometimes I worry I’ll never love him the way I love you,” Galinda whispered.

A heavy, tense silence followed. Their hands remained together, neither of them moved away from the other.

“Galinda,” Elphaba said in a warning tone, suddenly feeling too as if the whole world _was_ somehow privy to this conversation, “you know that’s—“

“I know,” Galinda agreed, her voice breaking as a sadness Elphaba had never heard from her came forth, “believe me, I know.”

Elphaba swallowed dryly before saying in an attempt to make any sense of it, “Perhaps you’re just having some normal doubts. Some normal worries. Most brides have a fit of worry that they’re making the wrong choice. You’ll wake up tomorrow and find this whole conversation silly, I’m sure.” 

But Galinda shook her head slightly and countered, “I don’t think I will, Elphaba.” Her voice was heavy and full of emotion and, before Elphaba could try to argue with her, she asked, “Would you be…Would you find me repulsing if I loved you and not him? If I never loved a boyfriend or a husband in the same way I love you?”

“I could never find you anything but wonderful,” Elphaba said in a moment of honesty, almost shocked with how easily and truthfully the words came.

“Would you turn me away if I told you I wanted you instead?” The words were shaky, riddled with fear and hope at the same time.

“I don’t think I ever could turn you away,” Was Elphaba’s honest reply. Her mind screamed at her, telling her this was not right, that none of it was—and yet she couldn’t force herself to stop it.

The next thing that happened was the thing that brought every screeching thought to a shocked stall—Galinda was kissing her. Galinda had closed the short distance between them to press her lips gently to the corner of Elphaba’s mouth, flirting with a boundary but not crossing it, and Elphaba was sure Galinda must be able to hear her drumming heartbeat.

It lasted only a second, but Galinda hovered close after as she asked, “Elphie?”

“This is a bad idea,” Elphaba told her, voice low and scratchy, as she finally forced out a logical thought.

“I know,” Galinda agreed, her breath hot so close to Elphaba’s face, but she countered with, “Just tonight, Elphaba. You think I’ll find this all silly in the morning. So let’s have tonight, for us. For you and for me, Elphaba, tonight it can just be for us. If in the morning we find it silly, it was just tonight. If we don’t…If we don’t we can go from there. But tonight, Elphaba…” She trailed and made eye contact with Elphaba in the darkness, the closeness of the two of them almost making Elphaba lose focus.

It was enough, though. Within the next moment, before her logic could possibly hinder her, Elphaba kissed Galinda properly, breaking the boundary Galinda had teased. It was gentle, careful, as if the moment could break at any second and Galinda would run away to Fiyero. Galinda’s lips were soft as she returned the kiss and Elphaba thought, somewhere in her hazy mind, that she would miss this in the morning when Galinda inevitably left her. 

—

When Elphaba woke in the morning, she was surprised to find Galinda still next to her. Galinda was awake already, somehow, and she smiled softly at Elphaba when Elphaba looked at her. The room was light, now, from the daylight streaming in pleasantly through the window and Elphaba reveled in being able to really see Galinda now. 

Galinda Upland was beautiful. 

And that morning, as Galinda smiled at Elphaba so widely the corners of her eyes crinkled, everything seemed perfect for a moment.

Inevitably, Galinda was back at Fiyero’s side by noon. 

As they all ate lunch together, despite Galinda clinging to Fiyero, she kept giving Elphaba a look of apology, of want, and of love. The apology and sadness in it was the most prevalent piece. It was the piece that stung Elphaba and drowned the love in it out to nothing. She felt almost inexplicably numb.

—

Despite Elphaba’s numbness and Galinda’s prevalent guilt, not much changed for the two of them, for the worse or for the better. That night Elphaba longed to repeat was at the very least not mentioned, a weight hanging over them that neither _dared_ speak of, but they remained the same as they were before. Elphaba read her books at night, occasionally interrupted by Galinda who would decide to gossip or bother her some way or another.

It felt almost normal, if Elphaba continued pushing her feelings to the back of her mind. In a way, she deduced one lonely night where Galinda had stayed with Fiyero rather than return to the dorm, it was as simple as putting the feelings into a box and forgetting it was there. Still, it stung every time Galinda clung to Fiyero and gazed at Elphaba with guilt and longing.

For, even if there had been truth behind Galinda’s sleepy confession, Elphaba simply wasn’t enough for her. Elphaba, if nothing else, understood that much. It was why she had hesitated that night in the first place. Elphaba caused disgust and hatred from nearly all who came across her. Elphaba was an ugly, soulless, emerald creature without the fanciness or flair or beauty that Galinda so desperately craved.

Fiyero was the opposite. What he lacked in brains he was rich in beauty, charm, and popularity. 

It only made sense for Galinda to choose him. After all, as Galinda had said, she and Fiyero _deserved_ each other.

—

The wedding was expectedly gorgeous. It was held in a church that looked more like a palace, to Elphaba, and the turnout was almost scarily good. Elphaba sat on the edge of the rows of seating, not entirely shocked by the way people left room around her, not daring to be too close, despite how many people had come. One girl, not from Schiz but surely acquaintances with Galinda, nearly fainted at the sight of Elphaba’s skin, which was the trigger for the crowd’s devotion to avoid her that particular day. 

Fiyero was as handsome as he had ever been, in a prim ashen suit, and somehow didn’t seem to have an ounce of nerves to him. He was chatting with Boq almost relentlessly, that stupid grin on his face the whole time, and Elphaba swore she could see girls blushing over him despite this being his own wedding. Something about it all made Elphaba feel queasy. 

Galinda’s snobby friends, Pfannee and Shenshen, and the equally snobby but less unbearable Milla, stood near Fiyero and Boq. Galinda had asked them to be her bridesmaids, along with _Nessarose,_ who had seemed more excited than any of them. If nothing else, Elphaba was happy for Nessa. She was wearing a dress similar to the other three, along with the silver shoes their Father had given her the first day of Schiz that she loved so much, and she was smiling widely as she talked to the other three, lifting her hand in a sweet short wave at Boq when he glanced at her.

For that short while before the ceremony had truly begun, Elphaba could force herself to pretend this _was_ a day to be celebrated.

It was when she first caught sight of Galinda that her boxed in emotions forced free to the forefront of her mind.

Galinda was wearing what must have been the poofiest dress Elphaba had ever seen, the color a gentle white. Her hair was curled into tight ringlets, a veil set on top carefully and cascading behind her head. She wore that practiced smile she nearly always sported in public, a display that easily tricked everyone into believing her, though Elphaba could spot the difference between it and the true, sweet smiles Galinda gave her at night in the privacy of their dorm.

Galinda’s Father, a man Elphaba had met only briefly who seemed decent if not distant, lead her up to Fiyero and Elphaba was sure with every step they took, the worse she felt.

It was as the two of them were being married, the priest talking while Galinda and Fiyero held hands, that Galinda looked at Elphaba for the first time that day. As their gazes caught, Elphaba froze. The priests talking and the low whispering of the women around her numbed to a dull hum she didn’t care to make out as Elphaba watched that practiced smile fade slowly, neither of them trying to break the eye contact. 

Somewhere in her conscious Elphaba heard the priest say something, something along the lines of _speak now_ _or forever hold your peace_ and Elphaba, despite holding her peace for so long, almost broke. Her lips parted as she looked at Galinda, her heart trying to force her to say something, but no words came out.

“Stop.”

The room fell to a sudden halt, the silence becoming overwhelming in just an instant, and Elphaba wasn’t sure who was the most surprised out of everyone. While everyone had been watching the to-be couple before, now all piercing gazes lay directly on Galinda, who held up a hand to her mouth like she hadn’t entirely planned to say it.

“Is everything okay, Galinda?” Fiyero asked her carefully, confusion written on his expression, and it was only then that Galinda broke her eye contact with Elphaba. 

She stared with a gaped mouth at Fiyero for a moment and Elphaba could see the second she decided to put the fake smile act back on. For a second, she did, she tried that smile and Elphaba couldn’t be surprised, but then too suddenly, Elphaba _was_ surprised. Because, somewhere in that blonde brain, something told Galinda to drop it.

“No,” Galinda admitted, pulling her hand from Fiyero’s apologetically, “nothing is quite okay. I…” Her gaze caught Elphaba’s again and, holding it, she continued quietly, “I can’t do this.”

Elphaba’s chest felt tight as her eyes widened nearly comically, for the last thing she would have ever expected was any of this. 

But Galinda, in her moment of bravery, continued despite the sudden murmurings throughout the room and the horrified expressions of everyone involved. “I can’t marry you,” She told Fiyero, guilt-ridden but passionate, “I am so, so sorry, this whole situation is…I am truly so sorry.” 

Just as Pfannee was about to grab Galinda and probably talk some sense into her, or more likely humiliate her into submission, Galinda turned and walked briskly back down the aisle, her head hung low as she avoided the shocked gazes upon her.

Briefly, there was another heavy silence, before the murmurings from before turned into loud gossip and disbelieving discussions. Fiyero looked less horrified than Elphaba would if she was in his shoes, in fact the bridesmaids and Boq looked more horrified than him.

It only took a moment for Elphaba to force herself to stand up on shaky legs and go after Galinda.

When Elphaba found her, Galinda was shaking so fiercely that Elphaba instinctively set her hand on her shoulder to steady her. Galinda seemed to expect the touch, expecting Elphaba, and she didn’t even look to make sure it was her before saying, “I—I really just did that, Elphie.” She was shocked at herself, that much was obvious.

“I know,” Elphaba said, voice as calm as she could make it as she ran her hand down Galinda’s arm to grab onto her hand. Despite her selfishness arguing, Elphaba pursed her lips and told her despite how it pained her, “It’s not too late to go back, if you want. We…We can play it off as nerves.”

But Galinda didn’t even consider it for a moment. She immediately shook her head, curls bouncing, before she turned and pressed herself fully against Elphaba. Her arms wrapped around Elphaba’s waist as her face buried against her chest and she mumbled, “Oh, Elphaba. That was awful of me. This whole thing is awful of me, I can’t imagine how Fiyero must feel and—Oh, sweet Lurline, how _you_ must feel.”

Elphaba rubbed her hand soothingly down Galinda’s back, “You can apologize to Fiyero another time, once everything has settled down.”

“My reputation, it’s going to be hell fixing this. Pfannee and Shenshen are never going to let me live this down. And Fiyero, and everyone who came, I…” Galinda’s voice was even quieter as she admitted, “And yet I can’t find myself regretting it.”

Elphaba’s lips pursed together more tightly as she internally fought herself on what to say. Despite her fear of the answer, she carefully asked, “What made you do it?”

For a moment, Elphaba’s anxiety rose, as Galinda pulled back from her as if she was offended by the question. Galinda stared at her as if she was the most ridiculous person in the world for a beat, before she hit her palm gently against Elphaba’s chest. 

“You silly thing,” She said with a scoff, her voice cracking, “You _know_ why.”

And, before Elphaba could argue she needed to hear why, Galinda kissed her. She kissed her deeply, leaning up on her tiptoes and tugging at Elphaba’s lithe waist like she wasn’t getting enough of her, until Elphaba finally leaned down to return the gesture. 

Galinda pulled back, just enough so that they were no longer kissing but Elphaba could still feel the ticklish movement of Galinda’s lips as she spoke. “I love you, Elphie,” She admitted quietly against Elphaba’s lips, a confession to both herself and the woman she loved, and just as the full impact of the words hit Elphaba, Galinda was kissing her again.

For the first time in so long, as Elphaba tangled her fingers through golden curls and she kissed Galinda, she felt hopeful.

And for the first time in so long, Elphaba let herself accept that she was in love, too.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @rawrbaraminerva lol


End file.
